His timing, not mine

After a three month hiatus I’m finally back to writing in my blog. I didn’t plan to take a break or anything, it just kind of happened. I normally tend to write about something the Lord has taught me or that I feel needs to be shared with others who don’t know Him. He has taught me a vast amount in these past three months, which I intend to share soon, but today I felt the need to get something off my chest that may have subconsciously been holding me back from writing lately.

You see, I started this blog a little over a year ago a few days after I became a Christian. I experienced the love of God and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. As one might expect, I certainly didn’t just wake up one morning and say, “I want to freak out all my friends and family and become ‘that guy’ who becomes a crazy ‘Jesus freak’ overnight!” It was a process of God doing things in my life that I wasn’t even aware of at the time that eventually led me to surrender to Him. Because of this, I decided to start this blog explaining what happened to me and why I decided to accept Christ. Mostly, I just thought it would be easier to direct people to my blog rather than unravelling my entire story over and over again.

Before I became a Christian, I always thought the people who tried to get me to go to church with them or talk to me about Jesus were weird, crazy, or a combination of the two. My roommate freshman year went to church every weekend and always invited me to go with him, but I never went. I was too busy “living it up” like you’re supposed to do in college, so I always came up with some lame excuse as to why I couldn’t join him. I actually thought he needed to loosen up and enjoy the college experience so I would in turn invite him to come to parties with me. He never did, and I never understood why.

That all changed about three years later. Suddenly, I became ‘that guy’ that I always thought was crazy. God opened my eyes one night and in an instant I thought, “Wow, this is what life is all about.” I had been blind to the truth for 21 years, but now I could finally understand my roommate and all the other Christians who seemed way too serious and way too evangelical. Because I had been on the other side of things my whole life, I felt as if I needed to try my hardest to convince my friends and family that I wasn’t crazy, but that I was right. I found the truth and I felt as if every blog post I wrote needed to be an advertisement for God’s existence or the divinity of Jesus.

Well, as I was lying in bed last night, it hit me. I don’t need to defend God. He doesn’t need a spokesperson or constant blog posts trying to convert others. There is nothing I can say or do to make someone see the truth of God as I did that night. Only He can reveal the weights from someone’s eyes and show Himself; and it’s on His timing, not mine. See, my roommate tried to get me to go to church with him all the time, but I wanted nothing to do with it. I even remember a couple months before accepting Christ someone sent me a facebook message telling me about a local church I should check out. All I thought was, “Why are you sending me this? I don’t care.” So, my point is, I get it. I understand. I used to think the same way. Now I see with different eyes though, and things make a whole lot more sense.

As much as I wish all my friends or people I share with could understand the secrets of the kingdom of God the second I plead my case, not all of them will, so I must be patient. While it is my duty to share my faith with others and warn them about the lies of the devil and this world that keep them from seeing the truth, I must remember, and all Christians must remember, that only God can open their eyes and He will do it when the timing is right. Until then, all we can do is pray.

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1 Response to His timing, not mine

  1. Rebecca Phelps says:

    Good Job, Nate! So proud of you & love you so very much! Auntie B

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